Hard Knocks Live Blog with the Meatball and Lube Tube

We'll be updating The Lube Tube and my's gChat conversation every 5-6 minutes throughout the show so be prepared for typos, Here goes:

me: go fpor ghiorzi

Matt: I was really hoping to see an N for nudity there

is it sad that this is the biggest highlight of the cincinnati bengals since 2005?

me: yes

well Dhani jones has his own show, wehre does that stand

10:02 PM Matt: CP does it all, shoot hoops like a black man

not very high, Dhani rides a bike to the games

10:03 PM me: tahts cute

through OTR?

Matt: who knows, i think hes homeless so OTR makes sense

10:04 PM still the best helmet in football

oh, if you thought id be coherent during this chat, youd be mistaken

me: SHOOT, this is tough to copy at once

Matt: just do a post mortem

10:05 PM CORNHOLE!

me: nm, all I had to do was pop out.

where does Marvin live?

Matt: I think its Anderson

10:06 PM but how many Americans just saw cornhole for the first time?

me: everyone who doesnt live in cini

cinci*

Matt: I could take that little kid in the Oklahoma drill

10:07 PM I don't know if you saw it, but those "NOW" jerseys are their preaseason motivational jerseys

me: come on gate lady, checking CP's id?

thats what's wrong with the bengals

Matt: Your kidding yourself if you think I won't buy one after this chat

10:08 PM me: thats motivational

Matt: haha, they charge for TVs

me: wow, you guys got laverneus coles and roy williams?

Matt: yea, we take old trash

10:09 PM me: (i'm just going to post this afterward, so I'll randomly throw the time in here so there is context afterward) like.. 10:08

Matt: that works

Mike Brown gives kids cancer

me: thats not true

Matt: It could be, you can't prove its not

me: ahhh, I'm not a scientist

10:11 PM first cuss of the series?

Matt: You think Ocho knows how to make ice/

me: like cold water, or diamonds?

Matt: water

me: yes, I'd hope so

Matt: Fight Back is the other motivational shirt

10:12 PM I really didnt think it needed a 25 secnd explanation by Marvin

me: you should sign Rae Carruth, you need more bad characters

10:13 PM Matt: haha, we're gonna spread Ty Cobbs ashes on the field on opening day

me: is that Tank's son? if not, where is his dad to tell him DO NOT TAKE LIFE ADVICE FROM A MAN NAMED TANK

Matt: Oklahoma drill FTW

haha, I can see that Dad having a 3 hour ride home preaching everything Tank said

me: please show the roy williams highlight when he had that safety vs. texas(editor's note: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1MpHG5x6q0)

10:14 PM Matt: I haven't seen that, link it afterwards

me: i run oklahoma drill in ncaa football on ps2

go right, spin move left, tuddy all day

10:16 PM roy dub just got his world blown up

Matt: yea, I forgot we were chatting, that was just too much fun to watch

me: 'its not football if you aint bleeding' that should be on a t shirt

im glad some part of the 2009 bengals season could be fun to watch for you

Matt: the slogan could be witten in blood

me: remember that

10:17 PM Matt: **** you, ur dolphins went 1-15

me: that was two years ago

Matt: so what

10:18 PM i hope jeter **** marino in the ****

me: those are half push ups Chase

you know im gonna have to edit that now

Matt: yea, im aware

Chase isn't looking too hot

me: what # pick was he?

Matt: 3rd round

10:19 PM reggie kelly, who's out for the year

10:20 PM I just got hard from the carson to ocho

me: nice

TMI

10:21 PM heartbreaker for kelly

Matt: sorry man, thats how i roll

for kelly, not for bengals fans

good blocker, terrible hands

me: what a let down for a guy though

10:22 PM Matt: yea, when you have a samera on it, you gotta feel bad

me: CP had a crazy look in eyes when Marvin was talking about adversity

10:23 PM Matt: he has been hurt for roughly 2 of the last 3 years

Jeremi Johnson, the Bengals version of Shaq

10:24 PM he comes in to camp 3 years in a row 30 pounds overwight

me: how so?

ahah

that's also eddy curryish

Matt: well yea, but people care about Shaq

10:25 PM me: only 16 lbs overweight, give him some credit

Matt: 276, not bad

holy **** what happened to thats kid face

10:26 PM is he related to Seal?

me: no idea

no, Seal was more scarring, not discoloring

Matt: I know, still both of em look like crap

10:27 PM this kid isnt making the team, why are they putting show time on him? becase hes smart?

im getting that tiger statue for mt front yard

10:29 PM me: they like to give you a story about a kid who won't make the team, but that people can identify with at some level

Matt: 0 for 2 on tight ends

10:30 PM me: CP is so introspective.

what I like about hard knocks is that it airs so close to live, this just happened

Matt: yea, thats a plus

10:31 PM damn, I was hoping a car was gonna crush Brown there while he was talkin

always next week

10:32 PM this is the first time ive seen Katie...Im glad she older and ugly

10:33 PM me: andre smith with no shirt on, this should have had the N for nudity tag

Matt: haha, agreed

how old is that kid, 18?

10:34 PM me: he looks young

so he put on about 20 pounds a year every year of his life

Matt: at least he's consistent

10:35 PM me: kent read kent write kent state

Matt: He's got one nickname: toast

he hope he poops in the bed

10:37 PM me: nice gloves ocho

Matt: he said he'll fight after his career

10:38 PM me: really

'the biggest thing i want him (chad) to do is everything right"

wow

Matt: he tained in the offseason to work on his footing

Child please is lame

10:39 PM me: he gets a child please

he's all over twitter

10:40 PM ahah, 'chad you tweet too much....i don't have any DUIs"

nice

Matt: the biggest problem with Chad is not having enough outlets to be heard

its true, people rag him because he talks, but he works hard, and doesn't get in trouble

10:41 PM do you have one of those pass machines at ur place yet?

me: nope

arent they called JUGS?

10:42 PM Matt: i dont know, but if they are, dont make me sound dumb

10:43 PM me: http://www.jkpsports.com/support/diagrams/football_diagram.cfm

Matt: iIm just going to throw this out there, but if marvin was white, he would have been fired by now.

me: you know that's how stu scott's eye got messed up right?

Matt: oh really? he got hit by one?

me: he was at Jets camp and wasn't paying attention and caught a tight spiral from a JUGS machine in the eye

10:44 PM Matt: that sucks for him, but did he catch it after it hit his head?

10:45 PM me: wait here's the story "Scott’s eye is the way it is because he decided to put the cape on back in 2002 at the New York Jets training camp. Then Jets head coach, Herman Edwards, invited Scott onto the field. Instead of watching the action from sideline like any non-athlete should do, Scott decided it would be cool to participate in some drills. Sure, one of the best perks of working for ESPN is going to events that most fans can only dream of or watch form afar. So, Scott decides to do some wide receiver drills.

In the drill where the jug machine shoots balls out and receivers have their back to the machine, most turn around quickly and catch the ball. Unfortunately for Scott, he has hands worse than Ohio St. and Oakland Raider tight end Ricky Dudley. Scott wore the ball right off the eye. He needed to get it removed and that is why he has a glass eye.

I’m not trying to dog Scott too hard because he is battling cancer right now but, come on, if you’re not a NFL player, get off the field. Have your dreams like all the fans you talk to each and every night, just don't try to live them out."

Matt: he's got cancer too?

god doesn't want him on tv

10:46 PM i like crocker

me: me too

Matt: he really was one of the few bright spots of last year

10:47 PM me: 'im pissed off to the highest pisstivity', nice ocho

10:48 PM how much do you get paid to call play-by-play for the bengals intrasquad?

Matt: he calls the regular season games too

joansen or something like that

me: how did mike brown get his money?

10:49 PM Matt: male prostitution

him, and katie had this act called the aristocrats

me: really though

Matt: his dad was paul brown

me: first cut

10:50 PM Matt: pwn

me: hey good morning, no don't put pants on, we're cutting you. don't feel bad, it's just that you're not good, so....

10:51 PM Matt: yea, gotta feel bad for that

me: not a bad first ep

10:52 PM Matt: how do you make another team if you get cut from the bengals in week 1

me: lions, browns, etc

Matt: dolphins

this was the 1st hard knocks ive seen

10:53 PM