Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Hard Knocks Live Blog with the Meatball and Lube Tube

We'll be updating The Lube Tube and my's gChat conversation every 5-6 minutes throughout the show so be prepared for typos, Here goes:

me: go fpor ghiorzi
Matt: I was really hoping to see an N for nudity there
is it sad that this is the biggest highlight of the cincinnati bengals since 2005?
me: yes
well Dhani jones has his own show, wehre does that stand
10:02 PM Matt: CP does it all, shoot hoops like a black man
not very high, Dhani rides a bike to the games
10:03 PM me: tahts cute
through OTR?
Matt: who knows, i think hes homeless so OTR makes sense
10:04 PM still the best helmet in football
oh, if you thought id be coherent during this chat, youd be mistaken
me: SHOOT, this is tough to copy at once
Matt: just do a post mortem
me: nm, all I had to do was pop out.
where does Marvin live?
Matt: I think its Anderson
10:06 PM but how many Americans just saw cornhole for the first time?
me: everyone who doesnt live in cini
Matt: I could take that little kid in the Oklahoma drill
10:07 PM I don't know if you saw it, but those "NOW" jerseys are their preaseason motivational jerseys
me: come on gate lady, checking CP's id?
thats what's wrong with the bengals
Matt: Your kidding yourself if you think I won't buy one after this chat
10:08 PM me: thats motivational
Matt: haha, they charge for TVs
me: wow, you guys got laverneus coles and roy williams?
Matt: yea, we take old trash
10:09 PM me: (i'm just going to post this afterward, so I'll randomly throw the time in here so there is context afterward) like.. 10:08
Matt: that works
Mike Brown gives kids cancer
me: thats not true
Matt: It could be, you can't prove its not
me: ahhh, I'm not a scientist
10:11 PM first cuss of the series?
Matt: You think Ocho knows how to make ice/
me: like cold water, or diamonds?
Matt: water
me: yes, I'd hope so
Matt: Fight Back is the other motivational shirt
10:12 PM I really didnt think it needed a 25 secnd explanation by Marvin
me: you should sign Rae Carruth, you need more bad characters
10:13 PM Matt: haha, we're gonna spread Ty Cobbs ashes on the field on opening day
me: is that Tank's son? if not, where is his dad to tell him DO NOT TAKE LIFE ADVICE FROM A MAN NAMED TANK
Matt: Oklahoma drill FTW
haha, I can see that Dad having a 3 hour ride home preaching everything Tank said
me: please show the roy williams highlight when he had that safety vs. texas(editor's note:
10:14 PM Matt: I haven't seen that, link it afterwards
me: i run oklahoma drill in ncaa football on ps2
go right, spin move left, tuddy all day
10:16 PM roy dub just got his world blown up
Matt: yea, I forgot we were chatting, that was just too much fun to watch
me: 'its not football if you aint bleeding' that should be on a t shirt
im glad some part of the 2009 bengals season could be fun to watch for you
Matt: the slogan could be witten in blood
me: remember that
10:17 PM Matt: **** you, ur dolphins went 1-15
me: that was two years ago
Matt: so what
10:18 PM i hope jeter **** marino in the ****
me: those are half push ups Chase
you know im gonna have to edit that now
Matt: yea, im aware
Chase isn't looking too hot
me: what # pick was he?
Matt: 3rd round
10:19 PM reggie kelly, who's out for the year
10:20 PM I just got hard from the carson to ocho
me: nice
10:21 PM heartbreaker for kelly
Matt: sorry man, thats how i roll
for kelly, not for bengals fans
good blocker, terrible hands
me: what a let down for a guy though
10:22 PM Matt: yea, when you have a samera on it, you gotta feel bad
me: CP had a crazy look in eyes when Marvin was talking about adversity
10:23 PM Matt: he has been hurt for roughly 2 of the last 3 years
Jeremi Johnson, the Bengals version of Shaq
10:24 PM he comes in to camp 3 years in a row 30 pounds overwight
me: how so?
that's also eddy curryish
Matt: well yea, but people care about Shaq
10:25 PM me: only 16 lbs overweight, give him some credit
Matt: 276, not bad
holy **** what happened to thats kid face
10:26 PM is he related to Seal?
me: no idea
no, Seal was more scarring, not discoloring
Matt: I know, still both of em look like crap
10:27 PM this kid isnt making the team, why are they putting show time on him? becase hes smart?
im getting that tiger statue for mt front yard
10:29 PM me: they like to give you a story about a kid who won't make the team, but that people can identify with at some level
Matt: 0 for 2 on tight ends
10:30 PM me: CP is so introspective.
what I like about hard knocks is that it airs so close to live, this just happened
Matt: yea, thats a plus
10:31 PM damn, I was hoping a car was gonna crush Brown there while he was talkin
always next week
10:32 PM this is the first time ive seen Katie...Im glad she older and ugly
10:33 PM me: andre smith with no shirt on, this should have had the N for nudity tag
Matt: haha, agreed
how old is that kid, 18?
10:34 PM me: he looks young
so he put on about 20 pounds a year every year of his life
Matt: at least he's consistent
10:35 PM me: kent read kent write kent state
Matt: He's got one nickname: toast
he hope he poops in the bed
10:37 PM me: nice gloves ocho
Matt: he said he'll fight after his career
10:38 PM me: really
'the biggest thing i want him (chad) to do is everything right"
Matt: he tained in the offseason to work on his footing
Child please is lame
10:39 PM me: he gets a child please
he's all over twitter
10:40 PM ahah, 'chad you tweet too much....i don't have any DUIs"
Matt: the biggest problem with Chad is not having enough outlets to be heard
its true, people rag him because he talks, but he works hard, and doesn't get in trouble
10:41 PM do you have one of those pass machines at ur place yet?
me: nope
arent they called JUGS?
10:42 PM Matt: i dont know, but if they are, dont make me sound dumb
Matt: iIm just going to throw this out there, but if marvin was white, he would have been fired by now.
me: you know that's how stu scott's eye got messed up right?
Matt: oh really? he got hit by one?
me: he was at Jets camp and wasn't paying attention and caught a tight spiral from a JUGS machine in the eye
10:44 PM Matt: that sucks for him, but did he catch it after it hit his head?
10:45 PM me: wait here's the story "Scott’s eye is the way it is because he decided to put the cape on back in 2002 at the New York Jets training camp. Then Jets head coach, Herman Edwards, invited Scott onto the field. Instead of watching the action from sideline like any non-athlete should do, Scott decided it would be cool to participate in some drills. Sure, one of the best perks of working for ESPN is going to events that most fans can only dream of or watch form afar. So, Scott decides to do some wide receiver drills.

In the drill where the jug machine shoots balls out and receivers have their back to the machine, most turn around quickly and catch the ball. Unfortunately for Scott, he has hands worse than Ohio St. and Oakland Raider tight end Ricky Dudley. Scott wore the ball right off the eye. He needed to get it removed and that is why he has a glass eye.

I’m not trying to dog Scott too hard because he is battling cancer right now but, come on, if you’re not a NFL player, get off the field. Have your dreams like all the fans you talk to each and every night, just don't try to live them out."
Matt: he's got cancer too?
god doesn't want him on tv
10:46 PM i like crocker
me: me too
Matt: he really was one of the few bright spots of last year
10:47 PM me: 'im pissed off to the highest pisstivity', nice ocho
10:48 PM how much do you get paid to call play-by-play for the bengals intrasquad?
Matt: he calls the regular season games too
joansen or something like that
me: how did mike brown get his money?
10:49 PM Matt: male prostitution
him, and katie had this act called the aristocrats
me: really though
Matt: his dad was paul brown
me: first cut
10:50 PM Matt: pwn
me: hey good morning, no don't put pants on, we're cutting you. don't feel bad, it's just that you're not good, so....
10:51 PM Matt: yea, gotta feel bad for that
me: not a bad first ep
10:52 PM Matt: how do you make another team if you get cut from the bengals in week 1
me: lions, browns, etc
Matt: dolphins
this was the 1st hard knocks ive seen
10:53 PM

1 comment:

  1. If your aren't watchin the show with us as its happening, my posts lose about 98% of their value. I'll work on that for next time.