Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Summer Dos and Summer Don'ts, Summer Wills and Summer Won'ts



Summer feels like it started already in many parts of the country and with it comes a whole host of new rules and changes in lifestyle. (Fistbump to Molly for the idea on today's blog).

Sun's Out, Guns Out
Absolutely a do. I don't see a reason for guys to not let the pythons (or gardner snakes) breathe in the appropriate environment. That includes the pool, beach, field, park, lake, backyard etc. It does not include church, restaurants, funerals and the office. A corollary to that is shirts off. Again, this is fine in the right forum - by bodies of water, in the backyard, on the field/blacktop, but let's keep it civil. Also, in recent years, manscaping has become awfully popular. Hair on our arms and chest is what makes us manly. Do you have any idea how much whiskey I had to drink to get the small patch that I have? Shaving hair off your chest and arms is akin to when women get breast reductions. God gave you something wonderful, don't abandon it.

Tanning
People look better with a little color on their skin than they do pasty. Back a few centuries ago, it was fashionable to be similar to the color of printer paper because that meant you were rich and worked/stayed inside all the time. It was also, in some cultures, cool to be really fat because that meant you had enough money to eat a ton of food. Neither of these things are cool anymore FYIsies. Get a little tan as early as you can in the summer and let it ride out through Week 2 or 3 of the NFL season if you can. It looks good and if done in moderation, it's healthy (not scientific, I just think so).

Play Hooky
Take a random weekday off and hang by the pool or go for a picnic. Humans weren't meant to be inside throughout the summer, so take a day and do something awesome outside. Get a tan, watch a daygame, go to the beach, take a nap on the deck, play frisbee with the dog.

Cookouts
Attend or host as many as possible. While all real men will grill into the winter months, this is the optimal time to fire up the gas or charcoal beast and throw some steaks, dogs, chicken breast, burgers and veggies on the open flame. Food tastes better this way and the epitome of American Summer is a BBQ. Do it often, or the commies and terrorists win.

Summer Love
Find one. Most of Nature finds it's mates in the Spring. For whatever reason, humans seemingly use the Memorial Day- Labor Day timeframe to have a hot and heavy relationship that flames out by Halloween. If you choose to go another route (or are spoken for already), this is the best time for dates. Gorgeous outside for daytrips on weekends and usually nice at night for outside patio dates.

Other things to cross of your summer bucket list every year

Get to a ballgame(s), go to a church festival, roadtrip to a lake or the ocean, get to the Derby and/or Indy 500, play kickball, join a softball league, play sand volleyball, get sunburnt, watch fireworks.

-Jesse

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