Sunday, August 8, 2010

GUEST POST: Merry Christmas you Filthy Animals

And now, Major League

Pull out wallets and hold on to your butts, because football season is fast approaching. With preseason games (worse than even MLS and WNBA) around the corner this weekend, there is no greater joy in my life right now. While athletes are battling to lose some extra weight, sharpen their skills, and grit out the onslaught of the needles they will be receiving all season long; I too have begun my NFL ritual. I’m starting my shit talking in 3 fantasy football leagues (is that considered nerdy still?). Summer popcorn flicks and dramas are being replaced by depth charts and betting trends. I’m actively searching for articles on my Bengals (not too difficult this year with the TO circus in town) and their playoff hopes. Craigslist, Ebay, and Stubhub have replaced some uhhhh.. “other” websites as my go-to for entertainment, as I try to score great seats to a few games. (Sidenote: Had season tickets for a few years, waiting to move to better seats. Never did. Got rid of them after the Philly tie in 08. So did everyone else. Now they’re back, and I could have probably had seats 20 rows up on the 30 yard line. Sigh.)

The excitement is almost here. Fantasy drafts are starting soon. Tailgating plans are in their infancy, and talking with friends about the games will far surpass any chatter of oil crisis or Bristol Palin. I wanted to let you all know that I haven’t forgotten about you all, unlike the creators of this blog, and will be updating you on what I think are valuable tidbits of information. I’ll have gambling tips, fantasy sleepers (not many before my draft with Jesse), and teams that will suck (i.e . Dolphins, Steelers, Browns). Power rankings will be coming back too, and I guarantee they are 20% better, or your money back. As a precursor to all of this though, here are the top 5 commercials I hope to see a lot of during the NFL season:

1. Old Spice Ads – Just plain funny. I don’t think the bit gets old for 6 months, just in time for the Super Bowl sendoff.

2. Shake Weight Infomercial – Just incredible foresight by those ad wizards. I’m still waiting for the 5 minute POV ad to drop.

3. Whatever Bud / Miller commercial they’ve had 8 months to work on. Step it up guys. Coors Light, feel free to step in with some PLAYOFFS?!?! talk and maybe some shots of Gina Lee and … and TWINS.

4. Halo Reach comes out in September. I want some cool commercials for it. I’m totally okay if that just cost me a date. Or two.

5. On the reverse scale of commercials I look forward to, I can’t stand all the CSI commercials that I’ll be subjected to. Please. Somebody stop this show.

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