Thursday, February 10, 2011

Carmela and her Many Suitors

Much like we did in June 2010 with LeBron, we're going to throw some romance into this Carmelo Anthony trade speculation story. Inspired - just like most of my blogs - by a gChat with Major League yesterday, we'll look at the situation as it compares to a marriage on the rocks.

The Wife: Carmela Anthony
This gorgeous young lady brings a lot to the table for the better part of a decade in the relationship, but she's felt like she continues to give and give and not get what she wants back. On the horizon, she has an opportunity to jump ship and leave her husband for another man. the problem, as it stands now, is she has to stay with him for another five months. She made up her mind to leave several months ago, but doesn't want to get financially screwed in the divorce. She's whining and telling her friends that she only wants to be with one man, The High School Crush, even though a few other guys are asking for her number and trying to take her on dates.

The Husband: Denver Nuggets
He's given Carmela all he is capable of the past eight years, but she's just not happy anymore. He knows that she's checked out, and is stuck in a tough position: he can wait and throw money and lavish items at her for the next five months, hoping she has a change of heart OR he can flip the situation and try to grab himself a couple of young honies to keep himself occupied while getting over her, letting her go in the process. For now, they'll stick to awkward family dinners, and distracted, emotionless sex.

The High School Crush: New York Knicks
Right down the street from where she grew up, this guy is the apple of Carmela's eye. She's been pining to go back and see if things can work out with him. He fell on some hard times for a while, but started seeing a girl that got him back on his feet and screwed his head on right. Now, everyone in town, including Carmela, can see he's ready for the next step. Carmela knows that she'll be adored in that neighborhood as a prodigal daughter of sorts, ready to give her all into a relationship that would be beneficial for not just the couple, but the whole community.

The Rebellious Biker: Dallas Mavericks
He's not trying to marry Carmela. He's fully aware that she wants to be with the High School Crush. That's fine by him, he just wants her for her looks and to get freaky and passionate in the bedroom with her for the next few months, see if they can't do something special before burning out.

The Rich, Handsome Guy: Los Angeles Lakers
You've seen him in just about every Rom-Com in history. He's quite the looker, dressed well with chiseled features and a phenomenal car/home/yacht. Comes into the picture a little late, making Carmela rethink what she's felt for the last several months. On paper, the guy is perfect and you know you have the chance to be on the big stage right away with him. Seen at the fanciest restaurants and be one of the hottest couples in town. However, the chemistry is just not there. It'd be nice if it was, but Carmela just doesn't know if she can handle being with a guy like that.

The Dorky, Heavyset Cable Guy: New Jersey Nets
Yeah, at first blush he's funny looking and weird. BUT, he just got some new cred after his foreign stepdad gave him lots of money. His old house is in a crap neighborhood, but he's using that new cash to build a state of the art crib in a young and exciting part of town. He hasn't had much luck with girls in the last several years, but all that could change if Carmela gives him the chance of a lifetime. Problem with that is, she is already somewhere she doesn't want to be, and can't stand the thought of doing that for another couple years before his new house is finished.

Who ends up with Carmela? We'll have to wait until February 24 to find out (two weeks, five hours and 19 minutes if you want to be specific).

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