Farewells to the Four Eliminated Playoff Baseball Teams

Minnesota Twins
You guys are like the easy girl in High School who just gets the train run on them by the starting five on the varsity BB team. It used to be "oh look at this scrappy, low-payroll team making a go against the Yankees." That got you out of the ALDS in four games usually. So this year you decided to spend some money (Capps, Fuentes, Mauer, Thome) and got swept for the second straight year. Basically you're the new A's but not as competitive and you spend more money. Morneau was hurt, but he wasn't going to go out and shut down the Yankee sluggers. Get a real ace and some reliable rotation guys to fall in behind him, then come talk to me.

Cincinnati Reds
Awww cute. You guys had a nice season, leading the NL in runs and defense. You even had a great story in Joey Votto (a Canadian by the way) having a break out year and catapulting to the top of the MVP race. It was an absolute crime he had to wait till the last ballot to make the All-Star Game. The least likely team that made the playoffs, considering your outlook in April, it really is impressive you held off the Cardinals all year. However, as evidenced by your 20-33 (now 20-36) record vs. teams with a winning record, you really aren't ready to play with the big boys once the weather gets cold. You had the first 45 minutes of the hour, but now it's time for the adults to swim, so thanks for getting out of the pool in time. It was nice of you to not even splash the parents on your way out. I can't remember a team being more overmatched in my baseball watching history.

Atlanta Braves
How does Bobby Cox get over getting kicked out of the playoffs in the first round? He punches his wife. The exact same way he celebrates an NL pennant, or winning the World Series, or missing the playoffs altogether. He's nothing if not consistent (and abusive). But seriously, way to have Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Steve Avery, John Smoltz, Kevin Millwood, Tim Hudson, Chipper Jones, Andruw Jones, David Justice, Terry Pendleton, Fred McGriff, Javy Lopez, Marquis Grissom, Andres Galarraga, Brian Jordan, Gary Sheffield, Vinny Castilla, Ron Gant and Otis Nixon at one point or another and win one World Series (against the Indians). Really though, this team becomes a lot more likable next year with Hanson, Heyward and McCann leading a crop of young, fun-to-watch guys. Just keep Brooks Conrad off the field.

Tampa Bay Rays
Say goodbye to Carl Crawford and Rafael Soriano. Wherever CC goes (Boston, NYC, LA), he'll finally get the chance to play in front of fans who care and become the superstar he should be. Oh wait, this is supposed to be a Dear John Letter to the team... Maybe you guys should have went for the Wild Card since you clearly can't do squat at home. David Price had a phenomenal season and should finish in the top five for Cy Young votes, but this is the playoffs. He'll be great for years, just not ready to be a true ace for a playoff team yet. Also, try getting people to come to the stadium before your players whine about having to play during the day when the Yankees play at night in the playoffs even though you won the AL East. Clearly you can't win at night, either. And good luck getting fans to come to the park next year without two stars and when people actually showed up you got outscored 16-2.

Bonus Goodbye
Bud Selig and the MLB Schedule-makers. Are you guys serious with TWO DAYS OF NO BASEBALL!? "We want to start the World Series on a Wednesday so we can have two weekend games and go against College Football and the NFL." Awesome idea guys, really sharp stuff. I can't wait till you're gone Selig. See, there's this crazy idea that the playoffs should be sort of similar to the regular season. You know the six previous months that you played to get to this point. But nahhh, that's dumb. Since the regular season ended, the Yankees will have played THREE GAMES in ELEVEN DAYS before they take the field in Texas. Compare that to the second half of the season when the club played 74 games in 80 days since the All-Star Break. Awesome. Sure the Yankees swept, but the Rangers will have played just five games in 11 days since they finished the season. Dumb.

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Through the Divisional Series, here's a recap of my picks (correct team, correct number of games):

Yankees over Twins in 4
Rays over Rangers in 5
Phillies over Reds in 3
Giants over Braves in 3

Not bad, three out of four teams correct. Compared to ESPN's team of experts, only four of 27 got all four. Speaking of 27, that's how many championships the Yankees have right now, but not for much longer...

2010 MLB Playoffs Preview/Predictions

I'll go opposite of typical preview articles here and just get down to business first. This way you can get my Division Series picks up front and scroll down if you want a break down.

ALDS
Yankees over Twins in 4
Rays over Rangers in 5

NLDS
Giants over Braves in 3
Phillies over Reds in 3


What the heck? Let's pick the next two rounds as well:

ALCS
Yankees over Rays in 5

NLCS
Phillies over Giants in 6

World Series
Yankees over Phillies in 6
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Time to break. it. down. I don't see either NLDS matchup as very competitive. Admittedly, I watch very little of the older, but lesser, league and only feel threatened by the Phillies in a potential World Series matchup. The top three starters for the 2008 world champs/back-to-back NL pennant winners are just beastly. Roy O. is 7-1 since coming to Philly and you've seen what Hamels can do in the postseason. The interesting angle here will be Roy Halladay as he hasn't pitched in many meaningful games throughout his career. His work ethic is well documented and he terrifies me more than any other pitcher in the bigs when on the bump vs. the Yankees. I can see him coasting through his starts like Cliff Lee did for them last year. Unless Phillips/Votto/Cueto go off in front of an intense home crown in G3, I don't see this series ending in anything but a sweep.

The Giants Lincecum-Cain-Sanchez rotation slots in right behind the Phillies as the scariest in the playoffs. I love Tim Hudson but also remember him not doing much in the ALDS when the A's had their run. He's 1-3 all time in eight postseason starts, with none since 2005. Maybe East Coast Bias isn't real, I was under the impression that Kung Fu Panda was some awesome hitter, he had 13 HRs this year and batted just .268. Yeesh. Besides that, the Giants have good depth in the lineup and I see them getting just enough runs each game to run the Braves and Bobby Cox out of town.

The Yankees are the Twins' daddies. Though they sport a 9-2 record in the ALDS vs. Minny, as Derek Jeter said yesterday "The past has nothing to do with this year." Well, this year the Yankees are 4-2 with series wins at Target Field and Yankee Stadium. Those two New York losses were started by Sergio Mitre and Javier Vazquez, who might combine for one IP this series. CC and Andy should do what they did last year and because of the Yankees' three-man rotation, they'll pitch four of these games. If Carl Pavano wins a game in this series, I will light my television set on fire.

Rays and Rangers is the most intriguing matchup of the first round. The Rangers new emphasis on pitching put the club in a position to coast through the final month of the year without Josh Hamilton for most of it. They have so much pop between him, Vladamir Guerrero, Michael Young and Nelson Cruz and I love what the table setters are doing in Ian Kinsler and Elvis Andrus. Lee is a certifiable of an ace as anyone else in the playoffs and you figure he's getting two starts. I think C.J. Wilson is tired, so I'm not sure what to expect from him. The Rays have plus players everywhere but up the middle (save B.J. Upton) where they put John Jaso behind the plate and a double-play combination of Sean Rodriguez and Jason Bartlett. Price and Garza are a clear cut above Shields and Davis so you have to hope they can get the job done. I see this series as being the first DS to go five games since 2006.

Paying for wins?

Intriguing baseball payroll graphic. Fenway Park review coming soon.

Week 3 Power Rankings from Major League

	Week 3
	Team	Opponent	SoS Remaining	Sos Thru Week 2
1	New Orleans	ATL	19.8	20.5
2	Green Bay	@CHI	15.1	25.0
3	Indianapolis	@DEN	14.4	8.0
4	Houston	DAL	14.3	11.0
5	Pittsburgh	@TAM	15.8	14.5
6	New England	BUF	13.7	9.5
7	San Diego	@SEA	16.8	21.5
8	Miami	NYJ	13.2	26.5
9	Cincinnati	@CAR	14.0	8.5
10	NY Jets	@MIA	13.9	8.5
11	Baltimore	CLE	14.3	9.5
12	NY Giants	TEN	15.7	15.5
13	Chicago	GNB	15.1	22.5
14	Tennessee	@NYG	11.7	16.0
15	Atlanta	@NOR	16.9	17.0
16	Denver	IND	16.1	20.5
17	Jacksonville	PHI	15.2	11.5
18	Philadelphia	@JAC	14.2	12.5
19	Washington	@STL	15.4	13.0
20	San Francisco	@KAN	20.5	12.5
21	Minnesota	DET	14.9	4.5
22	Dallas	@HOU	12.9	16.0
23	Detroit	@MIN	14.9	15.5
24	Seattle	SDG	19.6	18.0
25	Tampa Bay	PIT	15.4	29.0
26	Kansas City	SFO	17.8	18.5
27	Oakland	@ARI	13.9	22.5
28	Carolina	CIN	15.3	18.5
29	Arizona	OAK	19.5	23.0
30	Cleveland	@BAL	11.1	25.5
31	St. Louis	WAS	18.5	28.0
32	Buffalo	@NWE	13.0	5.0

NFL Observations

-There are five teams named after birds (Eagles, Ravens, Falcons, Seahawks, Cardinals)
-Four teams share the common theme of cats (Panthers, Jaguars, Bengals, Lions)
-The next most popular connected nicknames are horses (Colts, Broncos), pirates (Raiders, Buccaneers) and Native Americans (Chiefs, Redskins), with two each.
-Did you know the Vikings play at Mall of America Field? Interesting sponsorship decision there. If you live in Minneapolis or thereabouts, don't you HAVE to go there to buy clothes, electronics, jewelry, etc.? It's the biggest mall in the country, I just don't get the sponsorship. Are they competing with other rinky dink town malls around the Twin Cities?
-Running Back seems like the only major position in sports where having a tandem works so effectively, to the point that almost every team employees that strategy. It wouldn't work at QB, point guard, shortstop, etc.
-Instead of charging money for checking bags, why didn't airlines just build it into the cost of airfare? We expect things to increase in price over time (food, airfare, gas, rent, etc.) so why not just increase ticket prices gradually over six or twelve months. It just creates more problems when people stop wanting to check bags, over-stuff their carry-ons, and therefore shove these huge bags in the overhead or under the chair.
-How annoying must it be for James Brown and the studio hosts to have to run over the same game update several times for each game going on? I mean I'd still take the gig, but it's got to get tired calling the same TD play back to back to back.

Major League's 2010 Opening NFL Power Rankings

	Week 1
	Team	Opponent	SoS	2009 Sos
1	Indianapolis	@HOU	14.5	15.8
2	New Orleans	MIN	17.5	17.9
3	NY Jets	BAL	15.4	15.2
4	Baltimore	@NYJ	15.4	15.1
5	San Diego	@KAN	17.9	17.4
6	Green Bay	@PHI	15.7	17.9
7	Minnesota	@NOR	15.2	17.4
8	New England	CIN	13.4	13.8
9	Dallas	@WAS	14.2	16.9
10	Cincinnati	@NWE	13.3	14.6
11	Houston	IND	12.7	15.4
12	NY Giants	CAR	15.2	16.2
13	Tennessee	OAK	13.8	14.1
14	Pittsburgh	ATL	14.8	15.1
15	San Francisco	@SEA	19.7	18.3
16	Miami	@BUF	14.4	12.6
17	Atlanta	@PIT	16.4	15.2
18	Carolina	@NYG	16.9	14.5
19	Denver	@JAC	15.6	14.5
20	Jacksonville	DEN	14.9	15.5
21	Philadelphia	GNB	13.2	15.8
22	Washington	DAL	14.7	16.5
23	Arizona	@STL	18.1	16.9
24	Detroit	@CHI	15.2	15.1
25	Chicago	DET	14.4	15.8
26	Oakland	@TEN	16.2	14.0
27	Kansas City	SDG	17.9	16.1
28	Tampa Bay	CLE	16.2	13.6
29	Seattle	SFO	18.6	16.6
30	Cleveland	@TAM	13.4	14.5
31	St. Louis	ARI	18.9	15.6
32	Buffalo	MIA	13.0	13.0

Indy – I mean, they win about 95% of their regular season games for the last 5 years (if you exclude the games they play 2^nd string). Since this isn’t the playoffs, they are the #1.

New Orleans – Playing Tampa and Carolina 4x a year must be nice. Madden curse alert.

Jets – This is inflated because Rex Ryan’s speeches unfortunately can’t be their own team. I need a GD snack.

Baltimore – On paper, they’re good. I want to see how 3 possession receivers do though before we have Denny Green crown them.

San Diego – Uhh, why do people think V Jackson is that big of a deal? They have more than enough to hide his absence.

Green Bay – Everyone is talking about Aaron Rogers, but I’d just like to thank Ryan Grant for helping me win my work fantasy football league last year

Minnesota – They rank this high now, but I’m guessing they are in the teens after week 4. Expect the IR to start filling up.

New England – Tom Brady’s hair is just the worst. It looks like Justin Beiber grew up, went to the hair stylist, and asked for the McGuyver.

Dallas – They’ll be good early, and suck late. Which btw, great summary of a date.

Cincinnati – I love me my Bengals. However, I’d like to see Palmer not overthrow too many people before I trust him some more.

Houston – 8-8 seems to be their motto. I expect Andre Johnson to regress a little this year.

NY Giants – Sneaky good this year. All they have to do is retire Brandon Jacobs jersey. Maybe he’ll take the hint.

Tennessee – Say what you want about Vince Young, but he wins. And throws punches.

Pittsburgh – You think Ben’s pocket vision works at these bars where he can find the unsuspecting girl to ruffie?

San Francisco – They are the best team in the worst division ever. Congrats?

Miami – Until your defense can stop anyone, I don’t want to hear about how good that offense is.

Atlanta – Matt Ryan is okay. At best. They’ll be better this year, and maybe even make the wild card, but it will take a few weeks to shake the rust off.

Carolina – No Jake Delhomme = A good thing.

Denver – Who is their primary receiver? No really. I don’t know.

Jacksonville – 35,000 fans are very nervous about MJD’s injury status. Only half of those fans have season tickets.

Philly – Too much turnover to be good right out of the gate. But on offense at least, they have the talent.

Washington – McNabb and Portis are a deadly Combo. In 2004.

Arizona – Not a good sign that starter wasn’t good enough for the Browns! And Delhomme is better!

Detroit – Jahvid Best is a great name. Not as good as Kareem Huggins, but still.

Chicago – This turkey is done cooking. Cubs suck. So do the bears.

Oakland – Jamarcus Russell was a worse decision than MTV execs not having Jersey Shore cast mates in a Real World Challenge yet.

Kansas City – Thomas Jones adds a valuable piece to this team. Experience in winning. That’s 1 of 53 for those keeping track at home.

Tampa Bay- This team looks like somebody took a crap or dump in the printer.

Seattle – God hates Seattle. A lot. I think they’ll be fighting for 2 wins.

Cleveland – God hates Cleveland. Maybe even more. Howeva, I think they win 5 or 6 games this year, but unfortunately, it’ll come after they’re out of contention.

St Louis. – Terrible. Take a lap.

Buffalo – A real chance of going 0-16. CJ Spiller can’t run when there’s 9 guys in the box. Trust me

College Football Bets Week 1

I like these picks, but hate having to pick against the mighty RedHawks.

Northern Illinois (+5) at Iowa State
Arizona (-15.5) at Toledo
Miami University (+36.5) at Florida
Illinois (+12) at Missouri
Purdue (+11) at Notre Dame

Also, on our next Meatball feature, I'm going to take a look at the 2nd best city in America. Early nominees include Chicago, Los Angeles, Boston, Trenton NJ, DC, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Mansfield OH, Nashville, Memphis, Owensboro KY, New Orleans, Miami, Dallas, San Francisco and Seattle.
Couple jokes in there, get it?