Friday, May 6, 2011

Wash your Hands After you Pee? [PG-13]


I don't. At least on personal time. At work, I wash my hands like a regular sucker, of course.

Here's why, when I'm at the bar, home, dinner, a friend's the stadium, etc....I don't wash em up post urination. Let's see, I took a shower today, maybe even tonight and I'm pretty sure we all spend more time washing our pits and bits more often than anything else. Then I put clean underwear on (because as our mothers told us, you never know when you could end up in the hospital) so I know my penis was clean and in a clean area when I left the house.

Throughout the day, as I'm a normal person and NOT a nudist, my penis stays in my underwear, in my jeans all day long, which I'll remind you, are clean. When it's time to pee, I unzip and pull it out with my hands, naturally. MY HANDS. Which have been touching money, keys, door handles, computers, phones, mugs, dogs, magazines, beers, stranger's hands and who knows what else. Pee is sterile, and I just touched my clean penis with dirty hands, so what should I wash my hands for after I pee?

If I wash anything, I should be washing my PENIS after I pee. Either that, or my hands BEFORE I pee. Poor guy just hanging out all day, then gets grabbed from his home by these big germ-infested mitts.

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