Rock, Paper Scissors is a Complicated Sport [Mondays with Gus]

Most people that hear me talk about Rock, Paper Scissors think I'm joking around. I, like many others are not. While I may not be a card carrying member of the World RPS Society, I do take this sport very seriously. It's more complicated than most people think, so I've taken the time to give you a little insight in the mind of a real RPS strategist.

First, let's get some of the basics out of the way. “Why does paper cover rock?” you might ask. The roots of rock and paper go beyond just the end product. Paper derives from trees. If a tree manages to plant it's seed (tough to say that in a serious, actual seed conversation kind of way) in a rock, the roots will break through the rock. Trees destroy rocks, hence paper wins.

You can also look at this game in the philosophical way. It's nature (rock) battling the end-product of man's attempt to use nature for his benefit (paper) while they both fight the corporatism that is the raping of nature in a non-sustainable way (metal, scissors). A little intense? Sure. But, the point is to show you that the game is much more complex than most of us will choose to admit.

RPS is very much a psychological game as well. Let's use Jersey Shore to demonstrate. If Ronnie and The Situation were to play, they would likely throw rock first. Why? Rock is an aggressive throw usually used by people who are either threatened or want to be intimidating. Workout freaks like Ronnie (called Meatsticks) LOVE rock. JWOW would likely throw scissors. Scissors is usually thrown by people who are arrogant or confident. Paper is thrown by the bureaucrats; people who are quiet and timid. Think Sammie Sweatheart. She loves to act quiet and timid, when in reality... You get it.

Is it really a sport? I've heard great arguments on both sides of the aisle. Dictionary.com defines a sport as “An athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature.” I will say this, in it's defense, this sport requires some serious physical prowess. Try throwing down about 250 rounds, best two out of three per round. It requires skill in that you can read your opponents throws and see if they twitch their pointer finger (sure fire scissors), or twist their wrist (sure fire paper).

I would argue that it is a sport, but I would love to hear arguments to the contrary.

-Gus Rafeedie

Editor's note: I will be blog-battling Gus on the topic later this week. Stay tuned.