Thursday, April 21, 2011

Rock Paper Scissors is a Sport, Round 3

Jesse, you're a friend of mine. Not that that means anything, but I thought you could use some reassuring words before I dismantle your logic on your own blog.

Your definition is so well thought out that you decided physical activity needs to be either “continued or sporadic.” Knowing that you hate it when people use the dictionary to define words, I'll just tell you unofficially that sporadic means something along the lines of “it rarely happens.” So, your definition demands a discussion of physical activity, while at the same time admitting that you don't need much of it to happen for it to be a sport. That makes about as much sense as Rocky Balboa retiring from boxing to do speech therapy.

Athleticism? Is that a joke? Have you seen CC Sabathia? Cecil Fielder? The Pittsburgh Pirates? How on earth do you define baseball as a sport when that fattest man in the world would probably play a better first base than half of the American League, since at least he covers a fair portion of the field already. Point being? You can find a guy like that in every sport. Robert “The Tractor” Traylor played in the NBA for 8 years. Cecil Fielder played in MLB for 14 seasons. Ted Washington hit 400 lbs with the Browns. 400. As in 250 pounds, plus another human being.

Let's face it, RPS is a sport. Even going by your definition rather than the actual definition accepted by society and scholars alike, it's still a sport. There is still sporadic physical activity in the same way that a relief pitcher has sporadic physical activity. They throw a ball 60 feet 6 inches about once a week. Don't act like there's a boatload of athleticism to do that. You're throwing your arm forward. The only difference is you do it much less than an RPS player does, but with more intensity. I hardly call that a big enough difference to say baseball is a sport and RPS isn't. Hell, the American League even designates someone to not play defense. As if the rest of the sport is so grueling that you need to avoid defense. There's a reason they call him “Big Papi” instead of “Athletic Papi,” and it sure as hell ain't his grueling work out regiment.

So, if you're going to claim that since fat people can play RPS than it's not a sport, please explain all the fat people in MLB, NBA and the NFL.

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