Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tale of the Tape

Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild) and Les Stroud (Survivorman) are often compared by fans and critics alike.  Here's a breakdown of the two men's strengths, weaknesses, skills and oddities.

# of seasons:
LS: 2
This one is obvious.
Advantage: Bear

Beard growing ability:
BG: sparse at best
Another easy one to judge, Bear barely has a dirtstache after a week in the woods.
Advantage: Les

Film making skills:
BG: rarely carries his own camera, only when doing something in a tight spot
LS: carries his own gear and sets up shots while surviving
While this gives Les more to worry about besides keeping alive, it also makes the situation less authentic for viewers.  Bear just keeps on going and has to worry about his camera crew making it too.
Advantage: Bear

Ability to use what you've got:
BG: he makes water filters out of t-shirts, catches fish with his pants and ties stuff with his belt.
LS: brings a fishing rod on trips, but he did start a fire with a flashlight which is neat.
Bear could do anything he wants to get food or build shelter if he was just dropped anywhere
Advantage: Bear

Crutch:
BG: flint stone
LS: tarp
Bear doesn't often make fires without use of his flint stone whereas Les uses twine, a flashlight, sticks, the sun, whatever he wants to basically.
Advantage: Les

Actual remoteness:
BG: middle of nowhere
LS: not too far out from a camp
Bear is getting dropped out of airplanes and jumping into rivers from helicopters while Les has some locals walk him out what seems like a mile or two.
Advantage: Bear

Age:
BG: 34
LS: 47
Les is more of a wily veteran, but is approaching a half century in age, so that will slow him down in colder weather, a la Brett Favre late in the NFL season.  Bear is younger but lacks some of the experience Les does.
Advantage: Push

Frequency of using own urine:
BG: He pees on his hand to separate it from a knife, he drinks pee, he pees on on his shirt and puts it on his head to protect from sunburn.
LS: Not very often
While Bear can use his pee for a multitude of things, is that really something to brag about?
Advantage: Push

What they use animal poo for:
BG: Extracting water.
LS: Keeping a fire burning while you go hunt for food.
While Bear's use is much more manly and disgusting, but Les' is more functional.
Advantage: Les

Typical food choice when surviving:
BG: snakes, bugs, gators
LS: berries, leafs, dandelions, fish
Les eats things that I would have no problem eating most of the time.  Bear does what he has to do and then some, he'll get that protein from a snake by biting its head off then throwing it over his neck like a snake necklace.
Advantage: Bear

Method of getting food:
BG: Sticks hand in catfish's mouth, wrestle a gator, grab a snake.
LS: Go fly fishing, set traps.
Les is more of a passive survivor, letting things come to him, while Bear is a go getter.
Advantage: Bear

Accent:
BG: English, he says things like Glacier, intestines and vitamins very humorously
LS: Slightly Canadian, he'll through an 'eh' or 'you know' in there every so often.
Each time you see Bear there is a chance he might say something else in a funny way.
Advantage: Bear

Other skills that have little to nothing to do with survival:
BG: Rugged good looks.
LS: Rugged good looks and plays a mean harmonica.
Both men agree you have to stay positive and keep your morale up and what better way then to hum some blues.
Advantage: Les

Winner: Bear Grylls.  Obviously, Stroud is just Les of a man than Bear.  The final tally has Bear on top 7-4-2.  He decided to celebrate the win with a fine meal.

-Jesse


1 comment:

  1. well done JG. I would like to see a Bear vs. Bear (Grant) match-up.

    ReplyDelete